the things you have yet to learn.

May 9, 2009

At least one a day I think about a sentence from a conversation we’ve had and I smile a sort of uncontrollable, inspired, unrestrained smile I haven’t felt or seen in years.

The more I know about you, the more I want to know about you. That’s why all the questions.

You make me feel awkward and nervous and excited and giddy like I haven’t felt since junior high.

On weekends, usually around 11:13 am or so, I wonder what you’re doing. Especially on sundays.

When driving and listening to the radio, I wonder what tune is running through your head at that exact moment.

I sometimes think about what it would be like to sit on the front porch at night in july together. Or anywhere in comfortable silence.

You make me want to learn at least one new word a day.

You make me want to be a better person.

I don’t become easily enchanted. So I’m not sure how it happened that all of the sudden I came to and realized that I have arrived to be enchanted.

I spend a great deal of time each day trying to focus my attention to the matters at hand and away from the matters of your hand (wondering where all the places where the lines and maps on your palm would lead…)

Since meeting you I try to pay attention to the minutia of music production, but still have no idea what I’m listening for. I still either like it. Or I don’t like it. But I’m trying.

You give me butterflies and goosebumps. Sometimes both at the same time.

You sometimes make me so nervous and I can’t stop talking even though my inner voice staring in horror and saying “oh my god i order you to stop talking!!!”

I’d take cross-country car trips with you so you didn’t have to go it alone. But I might want to stop to see a statue of alligators or the world’s largest frying pan.

I’d like to leave with you for two weeks with no planned destination and see what we discover. Because I think we’d have just plain fun.

When you show up in dreams, you always seem so familiar, and I’m always so pleased to see you.

One and a half blocks never seemed so far, or so close.

You are one of the smartest people I have ever met, and I have never felt more intellectually attracted to a person in all my life.

I feel shocked that I lived 27 years in the same world with you without knowing you.

I was never sure that I believed in fate or destiny or soul mates…
and I realize that my timing couldn’t be worse, but
I never expected to feel like this about anyone
though I haven’t really put my finger on what “this” is.
I never expected to like you.
For a variety of reasons.

But I was wrong.

And here I am.
And here we are.
And all I really want to do
is pack one blanket and
two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and
two books and
go wherever the lines of your palm take us.


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