Retract & Correct

March 26, 2008

Dear Readers,
It should be noted that yesterday, in the throws of grief, Amelie mistakenly placed the Monterrey Bay Aquarium in San Francisco, rather than lovely Monterrey.  There are various reasons for this gross geographical miscalculation including:

1. Amelie was an English major in college, which, while filling her brain with a plethora of linguistic devices, took her attention away from other matters such as math (why can’t we use a calculator!?  There is noooo situation in real-life where someone is going to forbid me from using a calculator!” …) and geography (leaving her with a penchant for generalizing the location of things ranging from spectacular aquariums to “that reddish container that holds that stuff, you know, the stuff.  The red thing we keep in that one place.”)

2.  The last time Ms. Amelie traveled to the lovely American west coast, after leaving the not-so-lovely Los Angeles, and heading north, Amelie suffered what has become known as a “defcon-5 level panic attack” – having been given no pre-warning as to the terrors of highway 1.  The ensuring hours were spent in the backseat of a rented Lincoln Town Car breathing into a paper bag, fully anticipating the dive toward her untimely death with each turn and bump in the road.  All the while her family laughing at this unusual reaction.  Upon arriving in lovely Monterey, Amelie was not quite certain where she was, only happy not to have arrived there in a coffin.

So don’t go to the Monterey Bay Aquarium in San Francisco, go to the Monterrey Bay Aquarium in Monterrey.  You’ll like it.  It was the first place I ever saw jellyfish and realized how perfect they are.  Seeing them there prompted the most beautiful dream.  I fell into the ocean at night and all the jellyfish were swimming around me, all of us just floating there, diving and floating, diving and floating.  And all the stars fell into the sea and lit up the water – glowing white jellyfish, glowing white stars.  And then I went to the surface of the water and it began to snow white feathers and magnolias on the dark blue of the night and water…and all the jellyfish came to the surface and gathered together like a bouquet of balloons that lifted me into the blue night sky.

It was lovely.

For all of those who have expressed their concern for Blubber, he seems to be doing as well as can be expected.

As for me, they always say one of the hardest things to accept about “Adult life” (i.e. full-time working life) is that there is no free lunch.  I say the hardest thing about adult life is realizing….there’s no spring break.

I need a vacation.


5 Responses to “Retract & Correct”

  1. […] Eric D. SnidernHDear Readers, It should be noted that yesterday, in the throws of grief, Amelie mistakenly effected the municipality Bay Aquarium in San Francisco, kinda than lovely Monterey. There are assorted reasons for this super geographical … […]

  2. Hank Armstrong Says:

    Lovely, Amelie. Thank you very much for the correction. We were having something of an identity crisis around here and now it’s resolved.

    At first I was moved to tears by your loss. Now I am moved to tears by your eloquence. Your blog is an emotional roller coaster for me.

    May Blubber, after an appropriate period of mourning, take solace in a new finned friend. It will get lonely with Chuck gone.

    Hank Armstrong
    Monterey Bay Aquarium

  3. GµårÐïåñ Says:

    I am a bit hurt (being from LA) and a bit sad (that you had a bad time) so the next time you think about coming down this way, let me know and maybe I can arrange for a better visit. It is not too terrible here, once you get used to the smog, dodging bullets and suicidal/homicidal drivers and finally the often beautiful fire hazards 😉 (let me know if you didn’t get that one).

    As for PCH (Highway 1), you are not the first to be frightened by it as my mom and sister had the same reaction back in 1996 when on the way back from Seattle I decided to take that way home and the pitch black of night and the sound of the waves off the cliffs that you are driving next to freaked them out and vowed they would never ride with me on this highway again. I was surprisingly content and happy and found it absolutely awesome only being able to see 8 feet ahead of the car (the range of the headlights) and constantly weaving at each turn in the road, it was fun like being on the highway to hell or something, at least you don’t see it coming. I have done it many times more going up to and back from San Francisco and Seattle.

    Aaaaaaaannnnnnnnyyyyyyywwwwhhhhhhhhooooooooooo, have a good one.

  4. Amelie Says:

    I don’t have anything against LA, it’s just not my personality. I do like it’s proximity to the Mexican border … I think I am the ONLY person on Earth who enjoys Tijuana. I don’t know why. Especially since going there traumatizes me and I refuse to drink anything the whole day and end up dehydrated by the time I get back across the border.

    I’m just more of a mid-to-north California girl. The attitude, the culture, the scene … I like it a lot. Then again, so do millions of other people … just ask the property values.

  5. GµårÐïåñ Says:

    No, I have been to Tijuana and it has its charm. A pound of bananas for 2400 pasos (approximately a $1, give or take at the time). There is always the trip to wine country or the bay area, I love it up there but never get a chance to stay long. So I take it that is a no on the visit? 😦

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