March 9, 2008

All of us here in Ohio are snowed in. I have run the gamut of movie watching, cleaning, packing, pacing back and forth, shoveling snow, taking a bubble bath, giving myself a pedicure, and watching an online gross anatomy lecture. All that and I have a bad case of the “I did nothing today” insomnia. Cruel, cruel winter wonderland.

I also went through some old photos and appreciated how different people have seen me over the years. I think that is always what appeals to me about photography. A photo is – on the most basic level – the way one person sees the world or something in it for a blip in time. We can’t really show people how we think or how we feel or how things affect us, but through a photo – we are able to capture some of those things and pass it on to someone else.

Today, while snowed in, I took the time to see myself the way others have seen me. And I can remember the moments clearly. The way everything seemed to me. The sights, the smells, the sounds. I remember the places. But it seems like tonight is the first time I have looked at those photos and been able to see see what they saw.

All of them looking at the same girl. All of them seeing different things.
So many different versions of the same story.

And I’m not convinced any of them ever truly knew me at all.


7 Responses to “pics”

  1. Simon R. Gladdish Says:

    Dear Amelie

    Judging from the photos you are extremely attractive. You shouldn’t have any trouble finding someone. Perhaps you just aren’t trying hard enough!

  2. Simon R. Gladdish Says:

    Dear Amelie

    We never really know other people. We just think we do. I have lived with my wife for 20 years but she still never ceases to surprise me – in a nice way! Same with my sister. As nuclear families get more and more split up it becomes increasingly difficult to know your own family let alone anybody else.

  3. C. Fraser Says:

    I think I agree with Simon. As I’ve grown I’ve pretty much come to that same realization.

    My favourite song lyrics from The The’s ‘The Whisperers’…

    “You’re on your own
    You have to grow.”

    It appears to be a sad sentiment, at first, but when you realize what it’s really saying, it’s a very empowering statement.

    If you’re not familiar with THE THE, I recommend highly!!

  4. I stumbled on your blog through a friend, whose comment actually appears right before mine. The first thing I noticed was how beautiful you are.

    I was immediately and distinctly drawn to the eyes, especially on the 4th picture on the far right, first row. Also the 3rd and 4th pictures to the right on second row.

    You are right, no one ever truly knows anyone. I would even go so far as to say that we don’t even know ourselves all that truly. However, it is through the different perspectives and ways we are looked at and more importantly seen that we develop a refinement of who we are and how we see ourselves.

    I am always on the path of self discovery because my uncle who is no longer amongst us told me something when I was a child that has stuck with me through my life and has served me well. You are only as loved by others as you love yourself. Always be true to your own heart before you let anyone else in there to change it. Unfortunately some of the meaning is lost in translation but I have always been a pillar of strength for others even when my own foundation was crumbling because that’s how everyone saw me and that was exactly what I wanted to see.

    I managed to academically do beyond anyone expected, I served in the Marine Corp and got further than anyone ever thought (and survived not counting all the holes), had lymphoma and beat it and today working on my law degree to make a difference (hoping at least). All that said, what everyone has ever seen has been the same face that I look at every morning but no one has ever seen me the way I see myself when I look at my eyes in the mirror.

    For better or worse, I am ok with that because I hope that there is someone out there who will see that too some day. Until then, I will just keep chugging along the way I always have.

    Anyway, I am sorry about the length of this and just wanted to add my 2 cents. Fact is that you are a beautiful person and if you are even half as beautiful on the inside, I’d venture to say that you reflect how you see yourself and people can pick up on that. Assuming they are not shallow of course and just having the horn dog reaction.

    You actually made my day. Thank you.

  5. Amelie Says:

    Thank you for the lovely comment. And don’t apologize – lengthy comments are always welcome in Amelieland. I am about to embark on a new first in my life – my first apartment …all alone, and it’s a terrifying and exhilarating experience. A path of self-discovery, for sure.

    Thanks for the lovely thoughts. Please come back any time 🙂

  6. GµårÐïåñ Says:

    I am happy for you and let me assure you that its not a big scary thing and you will absolutely love it. My first time, I stayed up through the night and watched movies and played on my computer. Then took a shower and went straight to school. I was in heaven, even though I couldn’t keep my eyes open worth a darn during molecular bio and all I could think of was, how do I get around that big dragon guarding the stone?. I know, geeky, really geeky, but hey mess with the best, die with the rest, right? Did you hack that?

  7. GµårÐïåñ Says:

    I don’t mean to ask in open but I have no other way, what is your MySpace if you don’t mind me asking, you can also go to mine and take it from there if you want to add me. (

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