Life in a Peanut Shell.

March 5, 2008

So much has been going on the past couple weeks, I have been a bad blogger.  Which isn’t very good since I’ve only been blogging for about a month and I’m already slacking.  I just typed “I’ve only been blowing for a month” … which is both a delightful freudian slip and false statement.  I blame spring which is making me frisky.

Yesterday the library rejected my application for a library card.  They won’t give me a card until I can prove my resident status in the ‘hood.  Which will happen soon, which leads me to ….. I also found an apartment.  I’ve been looking since December, and to no avail.  CityX, in which I work, is also home to a University, however CityX is small and mostly single-family residential.  This leaves a large pool of young people seeking rentals, and a small pool of rental properties from which to choose.  I was surprised to find the competition for these spaces as fiercely competitive as NYC or any other major town.  Nonetheless, last weekend – by way of miracle – I found my great new home.  A house built in the early 1900s, completely refurbished by the new owners, and awaiting my arrival in about a week.

Therefore, I’m too busy packing to be clever (unless I’m at work where I seem to draw from the neverending fountain of witty sass – most of which I attribute to my witty sassy colleagues) so I thought I would share a blog of a friend who is oh-so-clever.  You have to imagine a sassy gay man saying this, because that’s what he is, and that’s what makes us love him.

“No but seriously, that isn’t what this blog was meant to be about. I just came up with that on the spur of the moment. I know, amazing. This blog was actually meant to be about peppermint ice cream. It was only a few days ago that I decided I would go to the supermarket for some peppermint ice cream. Actually, I had to have it. I didn’t have a choice, I had to find it. I went to the first supermarket in North Park and didn’t have any luck. I then drove just down the street and looked at two MORE markets that just happen to be right next to each other in Hillcrest. Mystery, no peppermint ice cream again. Even though Consumermas is approaching and you would assume that they would stock up on the most popular ice cream of this time of year. BUT THEY DIDN’T DO THAT DID THEY? They didn’t. I then went to Mission Hills. Two grocery stores across the street from each other. The first one didn’t have any, and I asked why and the reason was that it was sold out. They only received enough to fill one bin which is really only about six tubs of fucking ice cream. Six? For Consumermas. Why am I the only one puzzled by this conundrum? So, I decided I would go across the street and if they didn’t have peppermint stick ice cream (IT’S JUST CALLED PEPPERMINT) I would just buy vanilla and get strawberries or blueberries. Well, they had LIGHT peppermint ice cream. Light sounds good, it won’t make me as fat. WRONG. Gross. There weren’t even peppermint chips in the ice cream. It was just whipped foamy tasting frozen sludge with pink swirls running through it. I was not satisfied.

Then, yesterday while at the grocery store (one of the stores I didn’t go to the other day) and perusing the frozen foods aisle, I actually found real peppermint ice cream! I couldn’t have been more excited. All this time and I should have gone to the supermarket near my house! Well, apparently in my excitement I didn’t read the label close enough because there were many bad things about this label. 1. it was slow churned, and 2. it said “light” in the top corner. WHAT THE FUCK?! Why is it so fucking hard to find fucking PEPPERMINT ICE CREAM. WHY?!! Where is Breyer’s when you need them? Why are they not willing to put peppermint ice cream on the shelves for me to buy the entire month of December? Who likes that slow churned bullshit ice cream anyway? It might as well be buttery foam. “

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One Response to “Life in a Peanut Shell.”

  1. C. Fraser Says:

    Good to have you back! Good luck with your move.


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